On November 28, 1998, a Black trans woman named Rita Hester was killed in Allston, Massachusetts. No arrests were made in her murder, and the case remains unsolved today. This is just one of the many stories of violence against transgender individuals over time.

Trans activists and community members in Boston had had enough of these stories, and thus after Rita Hester’s death they held the inaugural Transgender Day of Remembrance on November 20th, 1999. Every November 20th since that day has been a somber day of reading the names of transgender people around the world who have lost their lives in the past year. 

Now we also have Transgender Awareness Week, starting November 13th and leading up to TDOR. It is part of OUT Maine’s mission to educate people on the trans experience and provide the support that trans individuals, especially youth, need in order to thrive. We are hopeful for the future, but we also must take a moment to grieve the past and recognize our community’s history.

“Grieve. So that you can be free to feel something else.” Nayyirah Waheed

How do you grieve? Do you have any cultural, familiar, spiritual, or religious practices that allow you to grieve fully and safely? Many cultures and religions have codified rituals for grief, such as sitting shiva for the Jewish people, or Jazz Funerals in New Orleans. Have TDOR events been a part of your grieving in the past? What are you grieving this November, and how can you honor that grief, so that you “can be free to feel something else”?